Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Unanswered Prayers

I dated the same guy for most of my High School and early college years. Ok, so we weren't actually dating continuously the entire time. We'd break up and be apart for a while, until I convinced him we should get back together. Yes, you could say I was obsessed.

I was very involved with his family, went on vacations with them, and even worked for his Mom for a while. I spent so much time with him, that I would often abandon my own family and friends, something that I look back on with regret. I was totally faithful to him when we were together as well, something I look back on with regret... Not really, but I do think that being as young as we were, I should have dated a LOT more back then. Needless to say, I had visions of us ending up happily married, with a few kids.

After a couple years of college and being on my own, I started to mature and experience life. By the time we broke up for the last time, it was mutual and I knew it was for good. I was ready to move on, although I always wondered if I was making the right decision. Was I letting go of something that was "meant to be"?

Over the years, we've kept in touch with each other, periodically catching up on each other's lives. We are both married, both have two kids and a good life. Recently though, he's gotten really off track in his life. He's unhappy in his marriage, and is involved with other women. He's basically skating on thin ice, and I can see him plunging into the cold soon if he doesn't figure things out.

You know that saying, "some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"?

I hope that I can somehow impart to my daughters how precious it is to spend time early in your life, creating yourself, and not getting wrapped up in who other people think you should be. Looking back, while I think I shouldn't have let this relationship be the primary focus of such an emerging time in my life, I learned a lot and I am happy that he was my first love. I'm also happy that he wasn't my last love.


Anonymous said...

No kidding!!!! We both dodged a bullet with our high school loves. It could have been really bad....Here's hoping for the best for both our lost loves, that they find contentment in life. They will always be a part of who we are.
Saved by Grace

Michelle said...

Yep, I'm so grateful that I didn't end up with my high school boyfriend. Such a bad relationship and SOOOO glad I ended it when I did. I'd be interested to know where he is now -- IF he's anywhere. Good to know that you're happy with what you've done :)

Visiting as part of my AM homework!

Lisa said...

is D able to see your blog? I remember in our 20's how A and I really wanted you to live on your own before you got into another long-term relationship. Did you ever get a chance to do that?


Blog Designed by: NW Designs