Monday, October 27, 2008

What's worse than being a single Mom when your husband is traveling?

Being a single Mom when your husband is NOT traveling.

Ok, so he's sick. But, he's been sick for over a month now! It's getting old.

If he doesn't get some hard core antibiotics soon, I think I'm going to lose my mind.

Oh, and since I'm venting... when your wife asks if you can tell that she's lost a little weight, the correct answer is "yes, honey".

In the school of tellherwhatshewantstohear, it is also appropriate to add "totally" or "absolutely" for emphasis. The more sincere you sound, the more likely you will not be sleeping on the couch.

This would be much funnier if my husband had ever actually slept on the couch. He has not. However, I am about to if his cough doesn't get better soon!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I am not making this up

So I'm driving in my car listening to the radio, when a commercial from my favorite store Trader Joe's, comes on. Here's the gist...

Halloween is coming! Are you tired of giving out all that pre-packaged candy? Why not give one of Trader Joe's treats instead? Our chicken broth is a kid's favorite.

Excuse me? Chicken broth???

They went on to talk about all the different things that chicken broth makes more yummy, and how they come in these re-sealable cartons.

Ok, but a kid's favorite? Are you kidding me?

So this Halloween, I suggest anyone who takes Trader Joe's advice, and gives out chicken broth to trick-or-treaters - go ahead and send your cleaning bill to TJ's after your house gets egged and TP'ed.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Spit it out

Daddy: Seesa, I'm going to take you somewhere special today.

Seesa: Where?

Daddy: It's somewhere that you wanted to go yesterday.

Seesa: (thinking) It's stuck in my mouth.

Daddy: What's stuck in your mouth?

Seesa: I know it, but it's stuck in my mouth.

Daddy: It starts with "L".

Seesa: Lucky!

Daddy: Li...

Seesa: Library!!!

Daddy: When that happens to Mommy and Daddy, we say that it's on the tip of your tongue.

Daddy looked in the rear view mirror at Seesa, who was touching the tip of her tongue.

Just after my husband told me this story, he said " we should write that down somewhere". I just looked at him.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Sixth Photo in the Sixth Album

I was tagged by my sister for a photo meme. I'm supposed to choose the sixth photo in the sixth album, and post it with a little story.
This is my oldest daughter, Seesa, on Halloween in 2005. She was two years old, and as you can see, is dressed as a lobster. I've always liked choosing what I think are sort of unique Halloween costumes for my kids. I totally get into the "holiday". I've always loved it. I love everything about it. Carving pumpkins, roasting pumpkin seeds, trick-or-treating. You get to be whoever/whatever you want for a day, and you get to eat a lot of candy. What's better than that? The other thing that I love about Halloween, is that you don't have to worry about getting anyone a present.

Imagine how thrilled I was that my little Seesa was actually born on Halloween. Ok, that blows my whole not having to get anyone a present benefit out of the water - but still, I couldn't think of a better time of year for her to be born.

By the way, check out that killer pumpkin she is standing next to. Can I pick 'em, or can I pick 'em?!

Now I'm supposed to tag six other people for this meme. I'll have to edit this post later with that. I'm not sure if I have six bloggy friends yet... Anyone who is interested in playing along (and being my blog friend), leave a comment!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Warning - this post is about barf

Just wanted you to know, in case you have a weak stomach.

I've been thinking a lot about barfing lately. Maybe because that's all I've been doing all day, because I am sick AGAIN! What the??? The craziest thing is that this morning, my doctor diagnosed me with bronchitis and a sinus infection. Later this morning, I started barfing. And still haven't stopped. I can't even keep water down. So, I guess I also have the flu now. Who the hell knows.

This is the first moment I'm feeling less nauseous, and what am I doing? What can I say, I was inspired.

I absolutely hate barfing. Hate it. I will do anything to avoid it. Obviously, when I'm sick, it's sometimes unavoidable. However, sometimes it can be avoided. This is the one reason that I will not drink alcohol to excess. Because I am afraid of barfing. I've easily forgotten all the pain associated with childbirth, but I will never forget the one time in my life I barfed from being drunk. One time. Never again.

This also reminded me of a couple of other memorable barfing moments.

#1 It was New Years Eve 1999. My husband and I planned this huge bash to ring in the new millennium. We had invited all our friends, and had all these fun Year 2000 games planned. We were going to party like the Prince song promised we would. That day, we both got sick. Really sick. We had to call all our friends and cancel our party. The topper was when we were sitting on the couch, surrounded by meds, Kleenex and crackers. We were watching the New Years festivities on TV and all the sudden one side of our big HAPPY NEW YEAR 2000 banner that was hanging in a doorway just above our television fell down, and the we both stared at the sign swinging back and forth pathetically. In sickness and in health baby. Happy New Years.

#2 I had just given birth to my second daughter, Milly. I had a c-section and was still pumped up on pain meds that made my nauseous. Occasionally, I would need someone to bring me the bedpan, because I could not get out of bed, so I could barf. A couple of times, that person was
my sister. My sister who has always had a really strong gag reflex. When we were kids, I used to purposely try to make her barf by picking my nose and showing it to her or telling her something really gross. What can I say? I'm pretty sure I was obligated as the older sister to torture her in this manner. She would barf at the drop of a hat. So now, thinking back on that day in the hospital - I have no idea how she held that bedpan for me while I was barfing in it. Wow. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

Note to my wonderful
sister, who tagged me for the "Sixth Photo in the Sixth Album" meme; and to the wonderful Marinka, who tagged me for the "Six Random/Weird Things About Yourself" meme: THANK YOU BOTH! I'm actually really excited to write these posts, I'm just a bit preoccupied right now, barfing.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Time Out for Mommy

I made arrangements for my kids to spend the night at their caregiver, Nouzhie's house tonight because I had a work conference in the evening and hubby is out of town on business. Nouzhie has a small in-home Montessori child care that both of my kids have attended since they were infants. Seesa is now at Preschool full time, and Milly goes to Preschool two days a week and Nouzhie's the other three days. They both have "spent the overnight" there before, and just love it. It's like a kid vacation for them.

So, my work deal was canceled, because market conditions are taking so much of every one's time and energy. Yah, you got that right.

Did I cancel the overnight for my kids? No, I did not.
Do I feel bad about it? No, I do not.

Mommy needs a TIME OUT. Big time.

What do I have planned for my luxurious night off you ask? Absolutely nothing. Quite possibly, I will simply sit and stare at the walls.

When the kids were leaving this morning, I said "Have fun spending the overnight at Nouzhie's!".

Seesa replied "Have fun...(pause)...have fun by yourself!".

You got that right baby!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Something's Gotta Give

My first mistake was taking the kids to the grocery store with me, instead of dropping them off at home, and running out for groceries by myself. My husband was at home, and perfectly capable of taking the kids. I don't know why I was compelled to take them with me. My husband's theory is that I feel like I have to spend every minute outside of work with them.

When we got to the store, I got a cart, and Seesa wanted one of the little kid sized carts for herself. Of course, Milly wanted one too. So the three of us, with our three carts, started shopping for groceries.

This is basically what I sounded like as we made our way through the store:

Hey Seesa, slow down.
Milly, come on. We're going over here.
Seesa, you can't swing the cart around like that.
Milly, come on, this way.
No, we've got plenty of candy at home.
Thanks sweetie, but we don't need any Crisco.
Hey, stop.
Please don't put that in your cart.
Seesa, watch out, you're going to run into someone.
Milly, we're over here.
Come on guys.
No, we don't need anything down that isle.
Ok, stop.
You can put the next thing in your cart.
No, we've already got dish washing detergent Milly, please put those back.
Come on, let's go over here.
Seesa, slow down.
No, we don't need any hot dogs.
Let's get some fruit.
Come on over here.
Ok, here we go.
Let's check out now.
Seesa slow down.
Milly, come on over here.
No, we've got plenty of candy at home.
No, we've got plenty of stuffed animals at home.
Ok, one more grape and then we need to pay for them.
Guys, come over here.
Please don't swing on the bars.
No, we aren't getting candy.
They just want grapes, can you just hand me the grapes?
Yes, you can push the buttons, just a minute.
Ok, come on guys, let's go.
Honey, I need to help you with the cart, it's heavy.
Just get in the car guys.
No, you may NOT brush your teeth.
Do NOT open that toothpaste.
Why did you hit her?
Say you're sorry right now.
Everyone please just stop crying.

I got home, walked in the door, and declared to my husband, "Dinner is somewhere in these shopping bags. Have a ball."


You know that charity thing the Gap does for AIDS/HIV in Africa, where they sell products with words ending in RED on them?

Well, lately - I've been uninspi(RED) to write in my blog. Probably because I am so ti(RED). I always wanted to write the Gap to tell them that they should create a ti(RED) shirt in their maternity wear line.

Anyway, I've got a lot of thoughts floating around in my head. I just can't seem to get them to gel together and get them down in writing.

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