Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?
-Lisa Claymen
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wordless Wednesday
Found on Seesa's bedroom door...
I don't know, do you think she's trying to tell us something?
Monday, November 9, 2009
I just got laid off... So, what am I going to do now?
I'm going to DISNEYLAND!!!
(Literally. I'm not kidding.)
The tortuous wait is finally over. I found out today that I am getting laid off from my job at the end of the year. I was prepared for it, but it's bittersweet. After sixteen years at the same firm, it's really surreal to be moving on. I'm lucky to have gotten a severance that will give me some cushion time to find a new job.
In the meantime, I'm looking forward to going to Disneyland in December. Our kids have never been before, so we're really excited. I'm also looking forward to being a stay-at-home Mom for a while, enjoying the holidays with my family, finishing a list of projects around the house (just the list - I may not get to any of the actual projects - haha), writing and generally savoring some time off before I delve into my next adventure in working motherhood...
I'll tell Mickey you said hello!
(Literally. I'm not kidding.)
The tortuous wait is finally over. I found out today that I am getting laid off from my job at the end of the year. I was prepared for it, but it's bittersweet. After sixteen years at the same firm, it's really surreal to be moving on. I'm lucky to have gotten a severance that will give me some cushion time to find a new job.
In the meantime, I'm looking forward to going to Disneyland in December. Our kids have never been before, so we're really excited. I'm also looking forward to being a stay-at-home Mom for a while, enjoying the holidays with my family, finishing a list of projects around the house (just the list - I may not get to any of the actual projects - haha), writing and generally savoring some time off before I delve into my next adventure in working motherhood...
I'll tell Mickey you said hello!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Reasons Halloween is my favorite time of the year
I've always loved Halloween. Seriously, what's not to love? Dress up as whatever you want and get a lot of candy. Find something wrong with that, I dare you.
There's the pumpkin carving.
(Yes, we rock at pumpkin carving.)
Roasting pumpkin seeds.
(Yum!)
Trick-or-Treating.
(examining the loot)
Coloring just about anything orange.
(rice crispy treats)
...and this little girl.
The BEST Halloween treat I've ever gotten in my life, is when Seesa was born 6 years ago on October 31st. I fell in love with her from the moment I touched her cheek right after she was born, and life has never been the same. I love that she always wants to be something "spooky" for Halloween, like a witch or black cat. I love that she adores animals - will watch any movie with animals in it, likes to pretend she is a dog (even though we find ourselves frequently telling her to quit barking) and I can't take her to the pet store for rabbit food without having to endure begging for whatever animals she finds there. I love that she took to Kindergarten like she'd waited for it all her life. I love that she takes care of her little sister. I love how she crawls in bed with me in the mornings and cuddles. I love her creativity and sense of humor. I love how her eyes smile. I love her love of life. And I love how she shows me, every day, a new reason be grateful for the blessing of her - my beautiful daughter.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Disconnected
Anyone notice I've been a bit absent from the blogosphere as of late? Have I not been inspired to write? Did I decide to take a little break? Am I just plain crazy busy? Maybe a combination of all of those things...I don't really know.
I don't like it when bloggers who don't write on their blogs for a while, post about how they feel bad about not writing. It's your blog, and I think you should write whenever you want to. I always go back to read bloggers that I enjoy, no matter how frequently or infrequently they write. So, why am I writing a post about not writing posts? Because I realized tonight, as I was reading some of my favorite blogs for the first time in a while, that I feel disconnected. Not just within the blogging community, but in life in general.
For the past several months, I've been waiting to find out what will happen to my job, after my firm is officially taken over by another company on December 1st. The firm that I've worked at for the past 16 years - more years than I've been married. There were plenty of distractions over the summer... trips to the Zoo, to the beach, vacations at the lake, family get-togethers, fun events like BlogHer and birthday celebrations in Vegas. And all the while at work, there's been an undercurrent of waiting. Lots of projects to work on, but all with the uncertain future of the new firm, and ambiguity of how everything will change by the end of the year.
Every decision at work and at home has hinged on the big question that is waiting to be answered...will I have a job?
It's been like a freaking tortuous roller coaster that you have no choice but to just hang on and pray for the duration of the ride. At one point, I started to get really annoyed at well-meaning friends who would ask if I knew anything yet about my job, and when would I know, and do I have any sense of which way it might go, and am I going to start looking around in the meantime, and have I updated my resume, and.....until finally, I just didn't want to talk about it anymore to anyone but a very few people. I started telling my Mom that my job is just GREAT every time she asks, so she'll stop obsessively worrying about it.
I think somewhere along the way, I disconnected myself. From some of my friends. From my attachment to my career. From blogging. From my own family to some extent.
A couple weeks ago, my husband told me that he thinks we're depressed. We're depressed. I guess that's his nice way of saying that he thinks I'm depressed, without making me feel all alone about it. I told him he was crazy, and I was not depressed. Since then, I've proceeded to cry just about every other day. Hmm, maybe he has a point. I think it's all just overwhelming. Especially in the past month, I haven't been able to enjoy the things that normally give me great pleasure. Like Fall and Halloween - my absolute favorite time of the year. And like writing - the thing that gives my mind clarity and helps me feel connected to myself and to others.
I've actually been holding it together at work quite impressively, I think. I've been very zen about the whole thing. Whatever happens, happens. I can't control it, so why get upset about it. Everything happens for a reason. It will all work out. Change equals opportunity. And the thing is, I believe all of that. I really do. So, why am I so disconnected?
I don't like it when bloggers who don't write on their blogs for a while, post about how they feel bad about not writing. It's your blog, and I think you should write whenever you want to. I always go back to read bloggers that I enjoy, no matter how frequently or infrequently they write. So, why am I writing a post about not writing posts? Because I realized tonight, as I was reading some of my favorite blogs for the first time in a while, that I feel disconnected. Not just within the blogging community, but in life in general.
For the past several months, I've been waiting to find out what will happen to my job, after my firm is officially taken over by another company on December 1st. The firm that I've worked at for the past 16 years - more years than I've been married. There were plenty of distractions over the summer... trips to the Zoo, to the beach, vacations at the lake, family get-togethers, fun events like BlogHer and birthday celebrations in Vegas. And all the while at work, there's been an undercurrent of waiting. Lots of projects to work on, but all with the uncertain future of the new firm, and ambiguity of how everything will change by the end of the year.
Every decision at work and at home has hinged on the big question that is waiting to be answered...will I have a job?
It's been like a freaking tortuous roller coaster that you have no choice but to just hang on and pray for the duration of the ride. At one point, I started to get really annoyed at well-meaning friends who would ask if I knew anything yet about my job, and when would I know, and do I have any sense of which way it might go, and am I going to start looking around in the meantime, and have I updated my resume, and.....until finally, I just didn't want to talk about it anymore to anyone but a very few people. I started telling my Mom that my job is just GREAT every time she asks, so she'll stop obsessively worrying about it.
I think somewhere along the way, I disconnected myself. From some of my friends. From my attachment to my career. From blogging. From my own family to some extent.
A couple weeks ago, my husband told me that he thinks we're depressed. We're depressed. I guess that's his nice way of saying that he thinks I'm depressed, without making me feel all alone about it. I told him he was crazy, and I was not depressed. Since then, I've proceeded to cry just about every other day. Hmm, maybe he has a point. I think it's all just overwhelming. Especially in the past month, I haven't been able to enjoy the things that normally give me great pleasure. Like Fall and Halloween - my absolute favorite time of the year. And like writing - the thing that gives my mind clarity and helps me feel connected to myself and to others.
I've actually been holding it together at work quite impressively, I think. I've been very zen about the whole thing. Whatever happens, happens. I can't control it, so why get upset about it. Everything happens for a reason. It will all work out. Change equals opportunity. And the thing is, I believe all of that. I really do. So, why am I so disconnected?
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Crazy. It's the new Normal.
Every time a friend asks me how I'm doing lately, I find that my answer is "Crazy". There's just no other way to describe my life lately, and I seem to be settling into crazy as the norm these days.
A few years before I had kids, I went skydiving for the first time. It's something I had always wanted to do, but I made a point to do it before I had kids. You know. In case I died. So I didn't leave my kids without a Mom because I wanted to experience the thrill of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.
Which brings me to the not so perfectly good airplane. I wanted to go skydiving on the coast. If I was going to die, I wanted to go down while enjoying a beautiful view of the ocean. After signing my life away and prepping for my tandem skydive, I waited in the hanger with my husband and his best friend Scott, who is a pilot. When the plane arrived, Scott comforted me by telling me that I was probably safer jumping out of that particular plane, than I would be staying in it for the landing. So I had that going for me. Which was nice.
While I was skydiving along the gorgeous Pacific Ocean, which by the way was the most exhilarating thing I have ever done in my life and I'd do it again in a heartbeat, my husband and Scott were waiting for the van to take them over to meet me at the landing spot. Apparently, it was a fire drill for them when the time came to scramble into the old van and race down the dirt road to get to the spot before I landed. Along the way, the guys heard a huge BOOM that they literally thought was me landing on the roof of the van. They sat in silence for a moment. Then the driver simply said, "Normal", and the ride went on with no questions asked.
So, whenever I think things can't get any crazier in my life, and then they do, I think of this little story. Because the crazy is just plain normal. And the ride keeps on going. No questions asked.
A few years before I had kids, I went skydiving for the first time. It's something I had always wanted to do, but I made a point to do it before I had kids. You know. In case I died. So I didn't leave my kids without a Mom because I wanted to experience the thrill of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.
Which brings me to the not so perfectly good airplane. I wanted to go skydiving on the coast. If I was going to die, I wanted to go down while enjoying a beautiful view of the ocean. After signing my life away and prepping for my tandem skydive, I waited in the hanger with my husband and his best friend Scott, who is a pilot. When the plane arrived, Scott comforted me by telling me that I was probably safer jumping out of that particular plane, than I would be staying in it for the landing. So I had that going for me. Which was nice.
While I was skydiving along the gorgeous Pacific Ocean, which by the way was the most exhilarating thing I have ever done in my life and I'd do it again in a heartbeat, my husband and Scott were waiting for the van to take them over to meet me at the landing spot. Apparently, it was a fire drill for them when the time came to scramble into the old van and race down the dirt road to get to the spot before I landed. Along the way, the guys heard a huge BOOM that they literally thought was me landing on the roof of the van. They sat in silence for a moment. Then the driver simply said, "Normal", and the ride went on with no questions asked.
So, whenever I think things can't get any crazier in my life, and then they do, I think of this little story. Because the crazy is just plain normal. And the ride keeps on going. No questions asked.
Monday, September 28, 2009
To a special 40 year old
Renee,
My first impression of you, after reading your blog, was that you were an introspective woman and a dedicated Mom. After winning your "Pay It Forward" post, I realized how incredibly creative you are when I received my package that included beautiful earrings, handmade by you! I remember reading your pre-BlogHer posts, about how hesitant you were to be thrown into a situation that involved meeting a bunch of new people, and I expected you to be shy and quiet in person. Girlfriend, I was wrong. You are one brave woman, who did not let any introverted tendencies keep you from putting yourself out there and being a friend to people like me - and I'm so happy that you did! I had such a great time getting to know you better in person at BlogHer this summer. It made me wish that we lived closer to each other, because I think you are a treasure to have as a friend.
At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us;
at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us;
at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.
- Anonymous
Personally, I think 40 is the age that you truly come into yourself and focus on what really matters to you - whatever that is.
Love and Friendship,
Kari
My first impression of you, after reading your blog, was that you were an introspective woman and a dedicated Mom. After winning your "Pay It Forward" post, I realized how incredibly creative you are when I received my package that included beautiful earrings, handmade by you! I remember reading your pre-BlogHer posts, about how hesitant you were to be thrown into a situation that involved meeting a bunch of new people, and I expected you to be shy and quiet in person. Girlfriend, I was wrong. You are one brave woman, who did not let any introverted tendencies keep you from putting yourself out there and being a friend to people like me - and I'm so happy that you did! I had such a great time getting to know you better in person at BlogHer this summer. It made me wish that we lived closer to each other, because I think you are a treasure to have as a friend.
Christy, me, Renee and Kirsten enjoying lunch in Chicago
Renee, me, Stacey and Issa in the lobby at BlogHer
So, on the occasion of your 40th birthday, I wanted to take the opportunity that the wonderful Issa put together for all of us - your bloggy friends - to tell you how very special you are, and to wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Welcome to the 40's!At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us;
at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us;
at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.
- Anonymous
Personally, I think 40 is the age that you truly come into yourself and focus on what really matters to you - whatever that is.
Love and Friendship,
Kari
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