After reading a recent post on Motherhood in NYC, I've self diagnosed that I have PVDS - Post Vacation Depression Syndrome. Here I am, back from a fabulous lake vacation with my family, and I'm feeling inexplicably down. Thanks to Marinka, instead of walking around wondering what the hell my problem is, I can finally attribute it to a
Here are some other things I'm hating on lately...
I hate that it didn't feel like a real summer because the weather was so wacky and unseasonably cool.
I hate that we're in this hazy zone in between spontaneous summer fun and the scheduled predictability of the school year.
I hate that my husband just told me he thinks Seesa needs a new lunchbox, and I've got exactly one day to get her a new one before she starts her first day of Kindergarten, or just go with the old - apparently sub par - one.
I hate that it seems like I'm the last one in the office in the mornings and the first one out at night, and it makes me feel guilty every.single.day. In the words of MommyGeekology, being a working Mother sucks donkey balls.
I hate that even though I get out of the office as soon as humanely possible, and drive home as fast as the law will allow, I still find myself rushing to get dinner ready as soon as I walk in the door while listening to my girls cry about being s t a r v i n g.
I hate that I just found out that the city is about to start work on a span of roadway from the bridge I travel across into the city that I work in that will be completed sometime in late 2012, that is going to make my commute EVEN LONGER while the work is going on with all the detours.
I hate that it takes an act of God to do any activity in the evenings during the weekdays. Classes for my kids, dinner with family or friends, or just going to the park takes major coordination and even then, is not uncommonly derailed by work emergencies or traffic.
I hate that we missed half of the pre-Kindergarten playdates this summer, because some were scheduled during the day, during the week - making it impossible for families with two full time working parents to attend.
I hate that there are so few families with two working parents in our neighborhood... and in Marin... and in the Bay Area... and sometimes it feels like everywhere!
I hate that I sometimes get jealous of my Mom friends who have a choice about whether or not to work outside the home.
I hate that I get impatient with my kids when I'm stressed out.
I hate that as much as I try not to let it affect me and to just do the best I can and know that whatever happens, things will work out one way or another - I'm still varying degrees of freaked out about the future of my job and the changes it will bring, no matter what happens.
I hate that there's never enough time to spend with my friends.
But...I love that I have an outlet in blogging. I can take all my frustrations, get them out of my head, figuratively tear them up into a million little pieces and blow them into the wind. Despite the list that precedes this, and almost being in tears trying to get dinner ready this evening, just the thought of typing out this post after the kids are in bed was enough to help me take a deep breath, get the kids to help me with dinner and enjoy the time that I had with them before tucking them in for the night.
That. Is worth its weight in gold.