Have you heard that quote? "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." I wouldn't say I set out to deceive exactly. At least not purposely. But check out the web I got myself stuck in.
I was dropping my kids off at preschool one morning. One of the Moms who lives in my neighborhood said in passing, "Hey, I saw you running yesterday". As is typical in the mornings, I was rushing, so I just said "Did you? Have a great day!".
Was there a possibility that she did see me running in the neighborhood, you ask. Not a chance.
I didn't give the exchange a second thought, until the next time I ran into her at preschool, and she said "Hey, I saw you running again - you're really motivated!" Great. She's bringing it up again? Think quick! "Oh yah, well, just trying to stay fit!" Nice choice. Now I've taken on this other person's identity.
New plan - avoid this Mom at all costs.
A short time later, I was at a friend's daughter's birthday party, and who do I run into? Aaaccckkk, it's the Mom from preschool who thinks I'm an avid runner. Ok, stick with the plan. Avoid her. She tracked me down despite my diversion tactics, and - you guessed it - she brings it up again! And now it's gotten worse. She says, "Did you get a personal trainer? I saw you running with a guy yesterday, it looked like he was timing you or something."
You have got to be kidding me. Not only do I run practically every day, but now I have a trainer or possibly I'm having an affair with someone. I wonder if we run before or after our trysts...? My mind wanders... Get back on topic! Think! What do I say now???
Here's my brilliant response. "Oh, if you saw me with someone else, then it definitely wasn't me. I only run alone." Huh? WTF is that supposed to mean? It was clearly the same person, and now I'm somehow trying to claim that I have a twin who is more of a team runner, whereas I am a dedicated solo runner. Why wouldn't I just run with my running twin? And her new hot trainer.
I think after that I think I said something like "Mommy's coming sweetie - gotta go!" and I made a fast exit, leaving her looking dazed and confused.
Moral of the story? Really, no matter how pressed for time you are - think before you speak. What I should have said on that very first encounter (which is also the complete truth by the way) was, "If you saw someone running, I can assure you that it most definitely was NOT me."
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21 comments:
Oh my god Kari you are hysterical! I can so see myself having this same conversation with someone - about a different topic of course, because I am running these days. Doing it, even though I hate it. But your post is sooo funny. I would just love to know what that woman thinks now!!!
That is so funny. I know how it can be in the mornings to register what someone said and to respond to it. It is funny how she kept bringing it up, I wondered if she was going to ask to run with you. That would have been interesting.
I will admit to some "lol"ing reading this one. That sounds like something I would do for sure.
Geez Kari. This is so easily solvable. GET A PERSONAL TRAINER AND START RUNNING!!
I've said some of the most ridiculous things to people when under pressure. Once at a baby shower I saw a woman that I knew in high school but not well. For some reason I assumed that she wouldn't remember me (insecure much?) and didn't say hi. Then later on when she came over to say hello I blurted out, "Oh hi Lacey - I didn't realize that was you!" And what exactly was that supposed to mean? She looked exactly the same... I quickly changed the subject and hoped she didn't notice what a dork I am.
This is just hilarious!!! I've had a similar incident at work where a woman keeps confusing me with someone else and I don't have the heart to correct her because if I did I know she would be horrified at her mistake. The other woman she's confusing me with is also brown but looks nothing like me - at all.
Those quick exchanges before or after school are so often done quickly. I can barely remember who I ran into depending on the day. You made me laugh when you said that you know you weren't the one running. You sound like me :)
HA! That mom is a little creepy if you ask me. Is she by any chance a "close talker"?
Hysterical. This is exactly the kind of thing I would do in a hurry. Actually I have a new friend of a few weeks and I still - um - OK I still don't quite know her name! It's foreign and complicated and she always mumbles it.
Yes, I know. But once you get past a certain stage it gets kind of embarrassing to correct the situation...
So freakin' funny.
OMG, I have so done this. Not the running mind you, I'm not insane...but the saying something and then realizing it is not even true.
Yeah, in fact I did it in a post the other day. Gah. Felt dumb on that one.
I was going to suggest that you should start running, but I think it's easier to move at this point. (Loved this, hysterical!)
Maybe you could construct an elaborate web of lies that you tell only to this particular woman. That way, all your mutual friends will eventually think she's crazy because of all the things she keeps saying about you and she will be shunned. And you'll be free to sit in a chair in peace.
I have a similar story only it involves me telling a business associate that I wasn't married when I really was and then it got really awkward when she'd see my wedding ring and/or husband. I still don't know what happened.
Funny, funny story.
too funny.... thanks for the laugh
best wishes
Ribbon
I so love you! That is exactly the kind of thing I do all the time by accident and don't know how to get out of gracefully. Or at all. Although the thought of anyone confusing me with a runner makes me snort coffee out of my nose with laughter.
Happy 4th of July,
Jan
OH my goodness. This is great. Thanks!
~Shaye
oh the tangled webs we weave.
Sounds like a Seinfeld episode...
When I was a preschool teacher, one of the kids started calling me "Mary", but I didn't realize because she wasn't a... very clear speaker, so to speak. Pretty soon, all the kids and even the parents were calling me "Mary" and I had no clue how to correct them.
6 years later, I still turn when I hear someone call out, "Mary!".
So funny. So human. I once told a law school classmate that I had tried a restaurant that he recommended and that Matt and I loved it.
He ran into Matt *the very next day* and of course said, so glad you like such and such. Matt is so slow on the uptake, he totally busted me, ah, duh, nope, never been there.
Jeez.
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