Thursday, January 21, 2010

The bird lives

It's been almost two weeks now, and no dead bird smell in my car. That little tiny bird somehow found it's way out.

As for me... the transition from full time working Mom to full time stay at home Mom has not been easy, but it's been one of the happiest times of my life. I had all these grand plans - lists of projects, many friends to visit and numerous draft blog posts to complete now that I had all this time since I wasn't working. Go ahead fellow SAHM's...laugh it up.

My life has been filled with transporting kids, helping in the classroom, after-school activities, helping with homework, cleaning the house, cooking, yoga (yes, I did manage to find some time for myself!) and volunteering. My life was exhausting before I was laid off, but these days I'm usually so physically exhausted by the end of the day, I literally collapse into bed. Still, I've been loving every minute of it.

I've slowly been thinking about what I want to do next, how long we can hold out before I look for another job and whether we can get by with me working part time instead of full time. We've even been seriously considering my husband pursuing an assignment at his company that would involve all of us moving to Spain for a couple of years!

And then...our life changed again. My husband's company went through a reorganization, and he was laid off. Unlike my lay-off, that I saw coming a mile away, his was completely unexpected for us.

In a matter of three months, we went from being a two income family, to a no income family. This is not exactly how I envisioned 2010 playing out for us.

After my husband told me, he said "It's ok, you can cry now". But I didn't. Maybe partly because I was still in shock. Maybe partly because I immediately went into survival mode - thinking about and planning how we are going to get through this. Maybe partly because I started thinking about that bird.

I was 99.9% sure that there was no possible way that bird got out and I was certain that it had died somewhere in my car. But it didn't. It found a way out.

Now I think I know what 2010 is about. It's about hope. It's about remembering that even when it seems like there is no way out, there is. You just have to look hard enough. And believe you will find it.

This post is dedicated to Issa.


Christy said...

Oh my god Kari, I definitely didn't see that coming. I thought you were going to say you're all moving to Spain! ACK! I love your attitude; and you're so right - everything will wor kout, and you guys will find a way through this. Best of luck to both of you, whatever you end up deciding to do. Let me know if I can help in any way - I'll email you too.

Headless Mom said...

Oh no! You're right, though. You'll find a way out, just like your little bird. So will Issa. ((hugs))

Issas Crazy World said...

I. Thank you friend. Just, thank you. I know it's there somewhere. Hope. I'll find it. Promise.

Love you.

Lish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lish said...

Is it a Freudian slip that instead of "maybe partly", you wrote "maybe party" three times? I think I'm onto something here.

Kari said...

Thanks Lish! Corrected.

Either I was too tired to catch that before I published, or I maybe I'm trying to tell myself that it's time to party! Want to go back to Vegas and find out?

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I don't know what to say. How stressful. But I do really believe in things working out when you need them to. My whole life has started to revolve around hope - and I can see how powerful that can be. I once adhered to the "expect the worst..." way of thinking - but had to throw that out the window once my children were involved. So did a full 180 and now believe in the best. That I deserve it and that it will find me. In its own way (and in its own time). I'm hoping that you spend as little time as possible waiting for that best to catch up with you!

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

How did you make me laugh, make me cry and then make me feel all warm and fuzzy all the the span of one blog post?

I'm so sorry, first of all. But so, so glad that little bird flew into your car to inspire you. It certainly IS the year of HOPE.

And, if you're willing to work internationally? GO FOR IT. I lived in Germany for 3 years growing up, and while I missed the States, I grew in ways I never could have, had we not gone. Such an enriching experience. And I got to see almost ALL of Europe!

Hope and change, my friend, hope and change. xoxo

Maura said...

Talk about a blindside! Wow, I'm sorry that happened, Kari. But your resiliency is admirable and I know you're going to find your way. :-) Hugs and good wishes as you all adapt and look toward the future.

P.S. Odd fact: The word verification on my comment is "crier"!

I am Janeen... said...

once again, your ability to see the light, through the darkness, is so evident and beautiful. you are courageous, kari and indeed a survivor.

Allyson said...

I think a lot of us are hanging on to hope right now. Maybe just by the tips of our fingernails, but still hanging.

Thinking of you.

Maggie said...

wow. this was completely unexpected. du courage. xoxo


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